It's difficult for me to know if I just need a small respite from blogging or whether I'm experiencing the beginning of a depressive episode. But, tonight--after more than 640 posts--it suddenly seemed more like a chore to write this rather than a pleasure.
I do know that when I feel depressed, I don't feel like sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. I also know that I had a very busy weekend and I'm tired. I am aware that the weather has been changing, and I can feel it.
But, I also know that depressions have triggers.
Am I feeling slightly depressed because I'm worried about my son who is having LASIK surgery on Tuesday? Possibly. Despite the fact that he's very excited about the procedure because he's worn glasses since he began reading when he was five years old (and he's now 20), I'm quite nervous about it. Somehow, elective eye surgery is something I personally wouldn't do.
Or am I slightly depressed because I've had a tremendous amount of energy for the last few months, and after a while it's exhausting? That could be the case as well. I'm pleased because I've monitored my behavior very well. Still, I've taken on a lot of projects, and I'm trying to take those things off my plate that others can follow through on, and just work on the things that I find relaxing.
Are there other triggers? Possibly. Do I feel like figuring them out? Oddly enough, "no."
(to be continued)