Monday, July 20, 2009

Telling Our Friends We Love Them

I'm writing this post because my dear friend Emma, a frequent commenter on my blog, was in a terrible automobile accident in Sydney, Australia. Her car was destroyed, and while she's banged and terribly bruised, she's okay...although it's still quite traumatic.

While I know she'll survive this, I emailed her to tell her how much her friendship means to me. And I realized that this is something I have done with with others--during the past 15 years. As I recall, Paula Joy once posted about this or perhaps I'm thinking about a comment she left on one of my posts, and perhaps others have posted about it as well.

My question is this: Do we tell our friends we love them because we're bipolar and our emotions are sometimes more intense than the emotions of people who aren't BIPS? Or is it because we've experienced such pain and suffering and are so grateful when others tell us how important we are in their lives--even during periods when we don't feel we're contributing very much to anyone?

Whatever the reason, it's one of the good aspects of being a BIP. At least I feel that way. Do you?

P.S. The photograph comes from the following site.


Toria/Deb said...

I try to. Not as an effusive way of doing it, but as a tender way. I know that a bit of kindness goes a long way. If I can simply say "I appreciate you" surely that makes them feel better.

I do hope your friend recovers quickly from her accident.

As far as BIPS people speaking out more as to their caring than others. I'd agree that yes, we likely do, as I think over the blogs I've read. We seem to want to appreciate this most beautiful of a gift: a friendship freely given.

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Toria/Deb,
What a nice way of saying it. It is tender and quiet.

And thanks for commenting on this post. I appreciate it.


KJ said...

I am so sorry about your friend, but so glad that she is going to be ok. Great post about expressing our feelings. I tend to over express how I feel about people, but that is just me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Danielle said...

This is a great post for me to extend my appreciation for you! Thank you so much for your wonderful support and kind words ~ not only in regards to my complicated family situation, but also in regards to our similar interests and not so similar interests.

I don't think it has as much to do with being bipolar as being just a very sensitive and intuitive person. A person who cares about those around them and loves unconditionally. For many people this comes naturally, bipolar and non-bipolar. For some it has to be learned ~ such as in my case. My template was one of conditional love but once I crafted my own template I have been rewarded ten times over with the friendship of wonderful individuals such as yourself.

Wellness Writer said...

Dear KJ,
I used to think I, too, "over-expressed" myself. And then I decided it was just that some people I know under-express themselves.

Once again, thanks for your comment, and--in my mind--for always expressing yourself perfectly!


Wellness Writer said...

Dear Danielle,
What a lovely comment to read upon awakening. Thank you very much, and you're welcome!

Don't you find it interesting that we can meet people online and develop such a strong connection without ever having met them in person?

When I started writing my blog and reading yours, my father had been dead for 17 years, and my mother had Dementia and was ailing.

And I loved both my parents so dearly--and had been loved by them so dearly--that I just couldn't (and still can't) understand parents like yours.

Your vibrant personality, and love for your daughter, husband, dog(s), and friends jumped off the pages of your blog.

And I was amazed--and still am--that you could be such a loving person without having received that kind of parental love.

I guess I'm rambling, but suffice it to say that I, too, appreciate your friendship!


Paula Joy said...

Susan - I certainly appreciate you!!

I think I did a post on this one time... or maybe a comment.

Expressing my feelings to others in appreciative ways is very important to me. It's only love - true, genuine, unconditional love - that is going to bring about change in our lives and the lives of those around us. What better to show love to others than by telling them how much we appreciate them?!

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Paula,
I think you did a post on this too. Anyway, you're really good at doing this, and I wanted to welcome you back from camp with a virtual hug!