Monday, June 8, 2009

More Thoughts about Depression Recovery

Today I talked on the telephone with a dear friend who has also suffered from depression for many years. She's currently seeing a healer who does a combination of yoga, acupressure, and therapy. And during her first 90-minute session, she'd learned more about how to heal herself than she has in the last 30 years.

And I told her that I'd learned more about how to heal myself from my therapist in the last six months than I have in the last 40 years.

In both cases, our first depressive episodes were situational. We both feel that none of the therapists we've seen (except my present one and the person she's going to) helped us resolve that first episode. We both feel we've worked very hard to get well. We feel we've done everything imaginable to achieve wellness and move on. And we've both felt a certain rage and disappointment at the treatment we've received. Yet, for the first time, we both feel that our current healers will enable us to end this cycle.

I often wonder why there are just so few doctors, therapists, and other so-called healers who understand enough about depression to help others. I often wonder why those people who call themselves healers, but are so unsuccessful at healing, continue to treat patients and take their money despite their lack of success.

I just wish my therapists had been as honest with me as my plumber. When my plumber comes to our house and can't fix something, he tells us, and doesn't charge us. And he usually recommends someone he knows who can help us.

Why is it that no therapist I've ever seen has ever said, "I'm sorry. After talking with you today, I realize that I won't be able to help you, but I think I know someone who can."

Any thoughts?


catatonickid said...

Too right, Susan. I've wished for exactly that. I mean, the first therapist I saw didn't even want to see me! You'd think they'd say something rather than take your money and let you get worse before their very eyes -- but no.

they should take their work that seriously, shouldn't they? i would have thought that if they understood what healing really means then they would want to take it that seriously! that it would be their professional guiding principle but it doesn't often seem to work that way. well, not nearly often enough anyway!

Danielle said...

I must say that I am one of the lucky ones to have a therapist who was able to recognize what type of therapy would work best for me - EMDR. I have a fact sheet "How to Choose a Therapist" that I hand out at the beginning of my Intro to Psych class - I'm thinking of adding a paragraph on what you have covered here. Good post.

Gianna said...

this is a common statement in my house!!

why don't they just say, I don't know how to help you??


sorry...I have no answer.

Paula Joy said...

Amazing, isn't it, how much pride people have? For a Dr to admit they can't "fix" someone, they need to be humble and honest about the situation. How do we find the right person that will ask the right questions? If Dion and I had not seperated last fall, I wouldn't have received the help I did, and who knows what kinds of meds I'd be on by now! I'm thankful I found the right person, and it appears that both you and your friend have also found that person. I wish that everyone would be able to receive proper treatment.

Wellness Writer said...

Dear CK,
It's a real "pisser" isn't it? And it makes me sad and angry.


Wellness Writer said...

Dear Danielle,
I know you see someone you really like. That stayed with me when I wrote about this before because I was so glad for you. If you ever decide to post your piece about finding a therapist on your blog, I'll link to it.

Also, I know I owe you a list of books on writing a memoir, and I'll email them this week.


Wellness Writer said...

"Why" is certainly the operative question, isn't it? The other side of this is that I feel that people who are dishonest about this are among the worse people in the least to me.


Wellness Writer said...

Dear Paula Joy,
I'm grateful on your behalf as well. I wouldn't want to see anyone go through all the needless pain and suffering that I have--particularly someone I care about.


Periwinkle said...


Can you please explain what EMDR is you can post on my blog, Thanks
Periwinkle :)

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Periwinkle,
I'll ask Danielle to answer your question. I don't know the answer.


Mariposa said...

You spot it well! I'm thinking if it is their ego telling them they can fix everything and that if it doesn't it's the patients' fault...and well, also the money!

Mariposa said...

And to Periwrinkle, did you mean, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)?

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Mariposa,
Yes, I'm sure it's an ego thing, but given the situation, I think it's cruel for people to lead others on when they're in so much pain.

I'm not sure what Periwinkle meant, but hopefully she'll respond to you.