While I hate to admit it, today was the first hypomanic episode I've had in almost ten months, and it certainly was a relief. Because I know how to pace myself and control my behavior, it's not like I behave any differently. It's just finally nice to be done with an extended depression, and to have so much energy!
This morning and early afternoon I gardened. I'm digging out three of our flower beds and mulching them so I can transplant my herb garden home, and start a vegetable garden. Then, I rested for an hour to calm myself down, went to therapy, ate dinner, attended the last session of my digital photography class, and took my new dog Jack for a walk.
The only problem is that it's 11:00 p.m. and I'm wide awake. Because I know how important a full night of sleep is, if I don't fall asleep by midnight, I can take an Ativan, although I hate doing it because for me it's the toughest medication to stop taking. But, taking it is preferable to staying awake.
I could tell you how wonderful a hypomania feels after so many months of a depression--even a low-grade one for the last few months--but I sense you must know this yourself. A controlled hypomania must be a bit like being in heaven. I feel such a wonderful sense of well being that it's difficult to describe to anyone who's never felt this way. I'm so focused. I can accomplish so much, and yet I'm not the least bit tired.
Knowing that hypomanias can cause me to talk too much, I am mindful, and thus don't do it. Knowing that years ago they caused me to spend too much money (mostly on books, but sometimes on clothes), I don't do that anymore. If I feel it's the least bit of a problem, I give my husband my credit cards and checks for safekeeping, but it hasn't been a problem in years.
So...actually there's no real downside for me, except a lack of sleep, which I'll handle through medication if necessary. So, all I have to say is, "Hallelujah!"