Yesterday I wrote about how I feel about blogging when I'm depressed. Today, I'll focus on how I feel about blogging--and relationships with others--when I'm well.
When I'm well, I post on a wide array of subjects with the hope of helping others--and I don't need anything in return. I try to think of issues that might be helpful. If I've recently figured out a life lesson and/or read something I think might be inspirational, I like sharing it.
Knowing how horrible depressive episodes feel, I like trying to help others find insight. I find meaning in using my blog as a platform from which to discuss issues that might be helpful to us all.
For the most part, because I try to concentrate on positive aspects of healing, or share behavioral patterns that I may not like about myself but feel strong enough to publicly admit because I'm working hard to change them, I usually feel good about the comments I receive.
I genuinely like my readers, and I feel that within this universe we are the most upbeat and positive people.
I know the major difference between blogging while I'm depressed and blogging when I'm not has more to do with my own needs than with the response from others.
When I mentioned the blog stats yesterday (Immi, this is for you), quite honestly I know how to build an audience, but I'm not willing to do it in the traditional way. I'm not interested in posting more than once a day, which I know boosts my numbers. I don't want to write about "popular" topics that don't interest me. I choose not to spend my free time (other than this blog) talking about mental wellness or illness. I'm not interested in networking within this field nor do I wish to have a presence on Facebook or Twitter. And, I know that a key element of healing for me is engaging with people face-to-face, participating in activities I enjoy, and delighting in feeling so well!
In general, when I'm well, my relationships with people are positive. After years of medication-induced rapid cycling, it's no longer an issue for me. So, I no longer go from a depression to a hypomanic state. Usually, once I can feel the depression is over, it won't reappear until the season changes in October or November.
And now that I'm in therapy, I'm working on ways to see if we can prevent its recurrence altogether. My goal this year to "end" or totally diminish the impact of depressive episodes. Now that I'm feeling so much better, I've got a "to do" list of daily wellness activities that I think will make a difference.
What is so great about shifting out of my fall depression is that I no longer have to worry about it for the next five to six months. It's an amazing feeling to know I'll be well for such an extended period of time. And since is the third year running that I've felt like this, it's getting increasingly easy to return to "normalcy."