Two years ago when I started this blog, I played around with a few different blog names. The first was Bipolar Wellness. The second was Bipolar Wellness Writer. And the third is Wellness Writer. Since my mission for the blog was to focus on wellness rather than illness, Bipolar Wellness seemed like a good point of departure.
And then I decided that since I focus on my thoughts, feelings, and experience, I should personalize it so that it's clearly one writer's perspective. Once I realized I have a huge problems with psychiatric illness labels, and because I think labels contribute to illness, I switched to Wellness Writer.
Having explained all this, I must say that once this depression began...and since it has lasted interminably, I have thought again about about changing the name. "How can you consider yourself a wellness writer if you get depressed?" I asked myself (and perhaps others have been wondering about this as well).
During the worst phase of the depression, I said to myself, "You have been dishonest with your readers by appearing so upbeat so much of the time. Why don't you ever share the true devastation? Now, that you're ill, and you clearly can't 'heal yourself,' they'll never read you again."
I still feel that way to some degree although my new therapist (this was a very positive step since I haven't been in therapy for 20 years) disagreed. He said, "Don't your wellness activities work for you?"
"Yes, they do," I replied. "And in fact, I utilize them all the time. They're not exactly wellness activities per se, it's just about having a positive outlook in life, and doing things that make me feel better. Years ago when I was so sick so much of the time, I kept on looking for inspiration, advice, humor, and positive steps to take, and I couldn't find it online. So, I decided to fill that niche."
"And don't you feel you can still do that?" he asked.
"Well, for awhile I felt like a real fake because once the depressions hit hard, it feels like everything I know goes out the window."
"But, if your readers are in a different place than you are, will what you've written help them?"
"Yes...it will," I said, after thinking about it. "The moment I have any real energy, and feel at all cheerful, I'm back to doing all my stuff. This week alone I did the Zen of Electric Sanding Activity, and I learned some new songs on the Autoharp in anticipation of volunteering for seniors once I feel better. I've been spending time reading quotes on positive thinking, and I've been getting sunshine, gardening, and blogging--all important wellness activities.
(to be continued tomorrow)
P.S. I got the logo on a site called Club La Santa, and promise to use it only this one time.