Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Returning Partially to the Fold

Dear Friends,
When I returned, I thought I'd want to write all about what I've been experiencing the past few months, but oddly enough I don't feel like it. It was truly hellish, and while I've gained some insight, I don't feel like talking about it. So, I think for now, I'll just be posting on Mondays. See you then!

Susan

14 comments:

Gabriel... said...

Take your time Susan, if the blog is going to work as one of your recovery tools you can't allow your feelings for your readers force you to push yourself into posting for the sake of posting. Do what you feel is necessary for your own recovery...

It's advice I know can be hard to follow, and I don't follow it myself as often as I should, but your focus has to be on making yourself healthy.

Wellness Writer said...

Gabriel,
Thanks for your comment. I genuinely appreciate it. Actually, I had thought blogging was an important recovery tool. And now I'm beginning to think that perhaps my former doctor was right, and it's not something I should be writing about.

Needless to say, I feel a bit confused that I'm not enjoying posting as much as I used to.

Or maybe it's because I'm playing with some writing ideas offline, and I can't do both with equal enthusiasm.

We'll see. Clearly, I'm still feeling somewhat depressed so I'm just not sure.

But thanks for your sensitivity!

Susan

Paula Joy said...

Susan,

I understand how you feel. When I go on breaks from blogging, I come back with the intention of writing about what I learned and went through during that break. Truth is, that's not what I needed at all. What I needed was to let the break be the break, and to come back with a new reason to blog and not to bring up all the stuff I went through to get here. Doing that is like re-living it all, and I don't see how that is healthy or helpful (unless there's still stuff that you need to work through).

My advice is, for both you and me, to focus on the now and what is on your heart today. Sometimes tidbits of the past will come up, and when they do, maybe that's when they need to be shared. Forcing ourselves to write things because we think we "should" just adds pressure.

So, when you feel like writing, write from your heart - that's what I think is great therapy.

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Paula Joy,
You're absolutely right, and it is great advice. It may just be that I need to move on from this topic. I thought I had tons to say, but maybe I need to move on...

We'll see, but once again I appreciate your upbeat attitude and support!

Susan

Wendalyn Love said...

Susan,
I am sure most of us understand that coming back out of a down period needs to be dealt with gingerly and sparingly. I will be praying for you that you will have wisdom in this area.

Dirkmonster said...

I kept your feed in my news reader just in case. Look forward to your reading your posts whenever the notion strikes you.

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Dirk,
Glad to hear from you!

Susan

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Wendalyn,
As always, thanks!

Susan

Catatonic Kid said...

Glad to have you around no matter how often you do/don't write, Susan. That's one of the great things about having your own blog, no? It's all good, as they say ;)

We all process things different ways and at our own pace, anyway. I suspect you have a lot to say even if it doesn't turn out to be on the topic/s you had in mind.

Quality over quantity and all that jazz. And one thing I'm sure of (which isn't much these days) is that your words are rarely anything but quality.

marja said...

I agree totally with Paula. Blogging should be a something you do for the joy of it, not out of duty - duty to yourself or others.

I haven't been blogging much lately either. But I try not to feel guilty about it when I don't. Instead I try to let it flow as it will.

Sometimes there are things I want so very much to share and then I do. And sometimes that leads to a whole string of posts before I take a break again. I know I lose readers that way, but neither do I want to post because I "have to."

It's comforting to look on our life as having seasons. A season to write and a season not to write. And that's okay, isn't it?

isabella mori said...

our blogs often feel more of a responsibility than we thought when we first set out, don't they?

i personally think it's important to move on when we're "done", otherwise it's almost like self infection (you know, when you keep using the same tooth brush after a cold and you're wondering why you keep getting it over and over again?)

Wellness Writer said...

Dear CK,
Thanks so much for the lovely compliment. And yes, that is the reason we have our own blogs.

A month or so before my depression began, someone who runs a huge health portal invited me to add my blog to his site.

Instinctively, I knew this wasn't for me. Oddly enough, I didn't want a larger readership--if they didn't find out about me on their own. I didn't want to respond to more comments that I like to handle. And I didn't want to have to be upbeat if I don't feel that way.

And yes, thoughts do evolve, don't they? And I don't see a point in writing when it feels like I have nothing to say. But then again...there does seem to some internal percolation going on...so we'll see.

Susan

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Marja,
What a nice way to say it: "A season to write and not to write." That reminds me of my one of my favorite songs: Turn, Turn, Turn.

And as I recall, it's from Ecclesiastes, but then, of course, you knew that! Thanks for reminding me.

Susan

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Isabella,
Welcome to my blog. I love the analogy about the toothbrush and the cold!

Susan