I've been depressed for five months now. Although I'm marginally better, I've been feeling lost in the universe ever since I talked with the psychiatrist whom I allowed to convince me not to think about or write about wellness or illness.
How dumb was that?
Tonight, as I checked my inbox, I had three emails from friends I've met by writing this blog. I was touched by their concern, and I know there are others who care, but who haven't been able to contact me.
And I suddenly realized that I've been feeling lost because I had given up my blog, which is something I truly care about, and which I began writing because I wanted to try and help others as well as myself.
So...this is just a brief post to tell you I'm back. I'm not sure yet how often I plan on posting. I'm not sure how much I'll write about wellness and illness, but they certainly will be two of my topics.
What's interesting to me--and quite distressing--is that I finally understand that the reason I've felt so lost is because I willingly gave up a component of my identity--which is my blog. Like other mistakes I've made, I did it in my frenetic quest for wellness, and it ended up making me feel worse. That's something to ponder.
In celebration of a new beginning, I would like to thank Howard for letting me know he missed my blog, and he missed my thoughts. "Dootz, what struck me was when you mentioned I'd been silent for two months. And then I realized I'd felt lost for two months as well, and I finally figured out that in order 'to find myself again,' I needed to begin writing! You truly changed my life tonight!"
And I also want to thank Paula Joy who has continued to check in with me during my absence, and has let me know how much she cares. Also...thanks to Jazz, Gianna, and Duane! I appreciate your friendship, your kindness, and your support!
P.S. I've changed the format of the blog in order to allow comments. I couldn't make it work any other way. I think I'm up for a redesign...but I'll kind of take things as they come.