The last few weeks have confirmed certain aspects of my personality. And I wonder whether they are bipolar attributes or it's just me. Once again, I have learned that I'm comfortable openly expressing a wide range of emotion--from sadness and grief to joy and happiness.
But I have also learned that I think it's important to "honor" these emotions for as long as I feel them. I have learned there are people who feel that grieving should be short-lived, and it's better to be "done with it" and move on.
I don't feel that way. Eight months later, I am grieving the death of my mother. And nineteen years later, I am still grieving the death of my father. And sometimes I grieve for my grandparents who died so many years ago.
Perhaps the issue is how we define "grieving." The dictionary defines it as feeling grief or great sorrow. And I think that's fairly accurate. But I believe there is another element, which is feeling great love and loss.
I don't want to "stop" grieving my mother and father because my grieving allows me to remember them, and the loss in my heart represents all the love I feel for them, and the pain is bittersweet.
So, when people tell me to "move on," I don't agree. I can grieve and be fully functional. I can feel loss and go about my day. I can feel pain and sorrow and joy and love.
Am I able to handle all these emotions because of my bipolarity? I have no idea. What do you think?