Every now and then, I realize the enormity of what it's like to have felt so sick for so long--and now to feel well so much of the time. It's really quite extraordinary. From reading other blogs, I realize that a number of you aren't feeling very well, and you have my sincere empathy. And maybe it will make you feel better to know that even someone like me--who has suffered so many depressive episodes for such a long period--can truly "cure" herself--at least for now.
Last night we celebrated my son's 19th birthday--although it's not until Wednesday (but he's starting a summer job and probably will be working Wednesday night). When I remember past birthdays when I was so ill, I could cry. On a day like yesterday, I would have had to rest the entire day just to have the energy to go out at night. And as I rested, I prayed with every breathe that the depression would lift so I could participate in the celebration with my son and my husband.
The difference between those days--and these--is stunning. Yesterday, I spent the entire day helping a friend who was catering a teacher appreciation event at his daughter's elementary school. Not only did I have a great time, but I played my Autoharp with a bluegrass band, and learned how to rope a metal cow.
And then, after a brief rest, my husband, son, and I went out to a great restaurant to celebrate my son's birthday. While most people probably don't think twice about their ability to participate in these activities, I feel so blessed I can't describe it.
So, maybe at 58 years old, I will start making a lifetime of new memories that can only get better and better. Maybe...some people are able to do this when their children are young--and my family is just different.
My attitude is that for whatever reason I was ill for so many years, I am well now--and I feel so grateful that there aren't words to express my appreciation. Perhaps some of you know what a remarkable difference there is between illness and wellness.
I hope the rest of you--who are depressed now--will someday know what it's like to achieve wellness. It is truly a miracle--and yet, one that I have achieved. I hope and pray that everyone who's reading this will know the happiness that I felt last night, and continue feeling every day. It is this level of wellness that I hope and pray that everyone will experience daily!