Thursday, October 18, 2007

A Mother's Lament

The photograph above represents my experience at Cal in the Sixties. While Joan Baez may have enjoyed participating in anti-war demonstrations, I was stunned when students ran down Telegraph Avenue throwing rocks at storefronts. I was speechless when some members of the police department hit some of them with billy clubs. And I was frightened when they tear-gased my dorm.

All of this and so much more caused my first undiagnosed depressive episode. Almost 40 years later, I'm here once again for the Transfer Student Orientation for my son. He picked the university that almost destroyed my life.

I made peace with Cal about five years ago. I've been so excited by the way my son (and I) have been treated. Nonetheless, today was very difficult for me. Perhaps, because of the stress of the last few months, there have been moments when I've felt like I could cry 40 years of tears.

I pray my son has made the right choice for himself. I can't bear the thought that he could be as unhappy here as I was--so many years ago.

1 comment:

Syd said...


I've been thinking about you and hoping that this trip wouldn't be too difficult for you. I'm sure it's bringing back lots of memories, but every time you find yourself thinking about life back then, remind yourself of your life right now, and how far you've come. You are a survivor! Alex will be fine. He's got great parents! :)