Sunday, July 22, 2007

Hypomania: Irritability and Annoyance

Before I post today, I would like to thank the following people for their responses to my last posting: daryl darko, Micky, Marja, Terry, Gay Bipolar Guy, Cindy, Marie, and Carrie. I greatly appreciate your comments and concern.

I think that one of the downsides of hypomania that we don't know enough about is the irritability and annoyance phase. I finally realized that I haven't been mildly depressed for the last few weeks: rather, I've been irritable and easily annoyed.

Why is that? Perhaps together we can figure it out.

Do you have these periods? When do you get them? Is it after or during hypomanic episodes? Do you suddenly feel that perhaps you've been giving too much and getting too little? Does something switch inside you? When do you realize that the pleasure of helping others has faded and you have needs you'd like someone else to fulfill?

Do you ever think: I've been there for others. Who is there for me? Who is going to buoy me up when I feel a bit down? Who is going to provide the uplifting remark, the praise, the positive comment? Who is going to say: How can I help you? What can I do for you?

(to be continued)


marja said...

Hi Susan,

It's so good to hear from you. I've been worried. You keep blogging - okay? Even if you get depressed, though I know you like to isolate yourself at times like that. But during depression you need us. It will help buoy you up. Please don't disappear at times like that. You don't have to write a lot. Just let us know how you are.

I've heard of quite a few people who feel the way you do about always being there for others, but not having them there for you when you need them.

I guess I've been lucky. I have people I can call on when I need them. The trick is to create support systems that go two ways - sometimes giving, sometimes receiving. My greatest supporter is someone who tends not to want my support. She is totally a giver. But I've been training her to let me give to her as well. The result is a beautiful friendship. But it takes work.

But yes. You have been giving a lot, especially through your blog. Don't be too hard on yourself, ok? Make it a place to find relaxation and not work. Don't force yourself to give; give because it feels good to give. If it doesn't feel good anymore, you've been trying to do too much.

Sorry I've gone on for so long. But I want you to carry on finding joy in what you do and hope this little lecture helps.

Meredith said...

For me, hypomania is almost entirely irritability and annoyance. I never, ever get the happy, fun hypomania that some people talk about, and I'm jealous of those who say they do. It stinks either way; I'd at least rather be smiling than angry and frustrated without a reason.

Marie said...

Susan, I too am experiencing some annoyance of my own. I like the statement about we do so much for others and get nothing back. That REALLY annoys me.

I guess the only actions we can control are our own. Lately I have been feeling like I have no one I can really count on or turn to. Where are they? I guess I will have to rely on my friends in cyber space.

I am grateful however that I have acuired some new readers (present company included). There are times however that I have thought about shutting down the blog and saying the hell with it! I realize now that blogging is my only real link to the outside world.

Please take care!

recher said...

How re-assuring to find you all.

I have always wondered what the problem with hypomania is as I have basically been a euphoric type all my life. People call it mild mania . I call it enthusiasm and high energy levels.

Since my 50's though I have noted the irritability to the nth degree. i can be and often am SIMULTANEOUSLY cheerful and irritable!

I feel part of the problem is veldschmertz = suffering at the plight of the world and being annoyed at man's stupidity incl my own.