Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Blogging to Heal (Part 1)

Perhaps I mentioned that my mother has a new doctor at her assisted living facility who was recommended by the former head nurse. However, when the doctor saw my mother for the first time--in the facility itself--he didn't do a physical examination. And I found that very curious.

At the time I didn't say anything because my mother doesn't like doctors very much and the entire experience was quite stressful (for me). I had to keep my mother calm, oversee the visit, be the liaison with the head nurse, and deal with a doctor who seemed like a pompous jerk from the get-go.

My sister was there for this doctor's second visit. He didn't examine my mother this time either. He did bill Medicare $250 for a ten minute visit. They paid $20. I decided this doctor is probably running a scam. I plan on reporting him to Medicare.

What so distressed me was that he was recommended by the nurse, who I've known, liked, and trusted for more than a year.

Later, when I thought about the nurse's recent behavior, I realized that I may have misjudged him. When I told him I found it curious that the doctor didn't examine mother, he didn't really respond. When I told him that the change in medication the doctor recommended for my mother was making her worse, he said, "It takes awhile to kick in."

When I told him that the doctor's fee was outrageous, given the time he spent with my mother, the nurse didn't say anything. Last week, when I called him and told him that we needed to talk on Friday when I came to play the Autoharp, he said, "Sure."

Yet, when I arrived on Friday, he wasn't there. When I learned that he had quit and wouldn't be returning, I was stunned.

I'm not sure why the nurse left or what his "deal" was with this doctor. What I do know is that he betrayed my trust.

I also know that the visiting nurse who came yesterday found that my mother has significantly more bruises on her legs. Today I was told that the nurse (who left) had told my mother's caregiver that my mother had "hurt herself" because she had been combative when they've tried to bathe her in the morning.

I find this difficult to believe. What I do believe is this:

1. I don't trust people who dance around the truth.

2. If my mother has become "combative," it's medication-induced or she's not being treated properly.

3. Just because a person complains doesn't mean her complaints aren't real. If my mother doesn't like the way she is being bathed, then I should have been told.

4. When a person feels powerless, she may lash out.

5. If anyone has hurt my mother in any way, I will find out about it, and ensure it never happens again.

Today...because of my sister's actions, I felt powerless to help my mother. My way of dealing with it was to write about it. Tomorrow, I will visit my mother, talk to the head administrator of the facility, and solve the problem.

I have always been a problem-solver. But, in the past I know that sometimes I became ill because I was so disappointed by other people's behavior and didn't know what to do with my feelings. Now, I blog to heal and that's a huge step forward.


JayPeeFreely said...

That doctor is lucky I didn't have him cornered in a room, he might need to self-medicate and self-heal himself after I got done with him....

When a person tells me, " I'm only here to help," I usually get suspicious.

It has to be doubly tough for your situation with your mom. Can't trust anyone...

Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Thanks JayPee,
I felt better just knowing that you care!