Again, I'm writing about times past...
At the time of these debilitating depressions, I often thought of ways to try and feel better. Although it's difficult for people who have never experienced a depressive episode to understand, it's the most horrific experience to have so little energy that you can barely get out of bed.
And yet, once the depression is over--and if you cycle into a hypomania--it's almost impossible to imagine ever feeling so lifeless.
Still, at the time of these depressions, I used to come up with ideas for items or support services that would help me. In a debilitating depression, I knew it was very important for me to sit outside in the sun. And I often would do that...just go outside (I live in Los Angeles where the weather is sunny most of the year) and at the very least, just sit in a chair and feel the sun on my face.
I also knew that exercise is important--even if I couldn't do it. During a depression, I wondered why we bipolars don't quality for physical therapy. While it would be difficult to allow anyone to touch us (as least that's the way I used to feel), I still knew that I would feel better if someone would help move my extremities.
I also felt we should qualify for electric wheelchairs or scooters. When my mom could no longer walk because of neuropathy caused by diabetes, she qualified for a wheelchair or scooter, which she refused to get. But I took her to look at them because I felt the mobility would have been healing.
During severe and extended depressions, I often wished that I could sit in an electric wheelchair or scooter and use it to do errands in my neighborhood. What would have been good about it, is that as anyone who uses a wheelchair will tell you, people ignore you.
So...since we who are depressed feel so awful anyway, I think it would be a positive to be ignored. Yet, the value of spending time outdoors, and being able to use the wheelchair to get around the neighborhood would have been a good thing.
Also, I felt it would have been positive to have been treated as "disabled." Now, I know this sounds a bit odd, but think of it. The greatest problem with being depressed is that you feel "dead inside" but for all intents and purposes, look "normal."
When you look "normal" and don't wish to talk to people, it bothers them. However, if they think you're disabled, they'll ignore you, which for us would be a positive thing.
(to be continued)
P.S. I know nothing about the Rising Sun Healing Center (whose logo I'm using as a graphic in the upper left part of the post ). When I Googled sun and healing, it came up and I liked it.