How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Back to spending...as I mentioned in an earlier post, when I used to have problems controlling spending during a hypomania, I voluntarily gave my credit cards and checks to my husband. It wasn't that my spending was "outrageous" because it wasn't. It's just that I'm a responsible person and I felt that my husband had worked too hard for us to be in financial jeopardy.
These days, I sometimes feel a need to buy things during a hypomania and rather than deny myself entirely, I pick really small items that I like. So... during my recent hypomania, I have bought the following:
- A new pencil sharpener (I've had the other ones for 15 years so this didn't seem excessive. Needless to say, I write by hand with pencils so it's not like this is a huge luxury.
- 2 books (They satisfied my need and I go with regularity to the library)
- 3 new picks for my Autoharp
- 2 pairs of socks for my mom (she likes little gifts and we're both sock people)
- cards for my husband and a few friends
- moleskin notebooks (my favorite and they only cost $9.95 for three booklets)
While I used to read bipolar books about people who spent unbelievable amounts of money during a hypomania (or maybe it was a mania and perhaps that's a whole other thing), I couldn't understand it. Like every other aspect of this illness, it seems to me that once you recognize you've got certain symptoms, you need to figure out ways to control them.
But that's just me.