For years I felt that "anger" caused my depressions. It wasn't that I was an angry person. Far from it, I held all my anger inside. Years later when my therapist asked me what my anger looked like, I said I saw it as a smoke stack.
When events happened that angered me, my anger would sit on the bottom of this smokestack. And after each successive event, the anger would sit on the pile that preceded it. Eventually, there would be so many incidences of anger that the smokestack would be full.
When there was no more space for my anger, it would implode and I would get depressed. I felt that if I could reverse the course of things--either learn how to directly confront the people with whom I was having difficulties or express the anger, I would stop getting depressed.
It made sense to me so I decided to attend an anger workshop at the university extension program. All these years later, I have to laugh. I'll never forget the guy's name and his book. When I just looked it up on amazon.com, I read the following, "Dr. Weisinger's first book (co-authored by Norman M. Lobsenz), Nobody's Perfect, was a New York Times hardcover best seller and is now a Warner paperback."
As I skimmed his bio, I was amazed to see that he's made his career in this field. WOW. While I don't remember the specifics of the class, I do remember thinking that he was a joke and that the class stunk. In fact, it made me so angry, I stopped going.
(to be continued)