Friday, May 11, 2007

Blogging My Way to Wellness: A Confession (Part 4)

(Final post of this series)

I decided that independent of past experience,I would try blogging once again. For me, the key was to figure out a blog name that would attract positive and uplifting people. And I wanted to write content that would make me feel better, not worse.

My first title was Bipolar Wellness. I tried that for a few weeks before I decided that perhaps it was a misnomer. While I seek wellness, I'm not well all the time. So I changed it to Bipolar Wellness Seeker. I think that I kept that title for a few weeks before I decided it sounded kind of wishy-washy. I imagined myself "seeking wellness forever but never finding it."

My next title, which I only kept for few days was Bipolar Wellness Warrior. While it's true that I sometimes dream I'm a Wellness Warrior, I was afraid that others might think I have a violent side. In truth, I was thinking more in terms of the book, Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior.

So, now I've become the Bipolar Wellness Writer, and that seems as good a title as any. In the meantime, I have been attracting readers whom I can relate to and that's really a joy. As I remember, Marja from Roller Coaster was the first person to write comments and I was thrilled. I think it's great that she is about my age and although our experiences are quite different--and perhaps we even see this illness in a different way--she's been a terrific supporter.

After a time I began to hear from Syd from Bipolarity (who's been quite affirming), Dootz from SurfCountry (one of his recent comments made me feel like I'm accomplishing what I had hoped to), and Polly from polarcoaster (sometimes we disagree but I always appreciate her point of view). I'm not sure if I contacted them or if they wrote to me. But I have enjoyed their comments, their positive reinforcement, and their input.

I was delighted to find Jinnah from LivingManicDepressive, the website and blog. He and I seem to share a similar philosophy about this illness and I always appreciate hearing from him. In the past few weeks, BamaGal has gotten on board and she's a real hoot. Her comments always make me smile. And recently I've begun hearing from JayPeeFreely from No More Mr. Nice Guy. I'm not sure how he found me since he writes on baseball but I enjoy hearing from him. I've also heard a few times from Jo, who's fairly new to all this bipolar stuff (and I will get back to you on my personality type, which I can't seem to remember right now), and a few others who write on occasion.

After all these years, I know that once again, my psychiatrist was wrong. There are people out there--like me--and it's very comforting to know that.

I'm not sure how this blog will evolve. I realize that I'm going to have to pace myself a bit better. Unlike others, I can only remain online for a limited amount of time each day or I don't feel well. For me, being outdoors is very important for my health.

Also, if I'm spending a lot of time blogging and reading other blogs, it detracts from the time I can spend writing my new book--a project I've recently begun. And it's almost time--although the thought isn't a pleasant one--to begin seeking freelance work again (It's too darn bad that I have to work for a living but until I write a bestseller, I guess that's my lot in life for now.)

Anyway, I'm not sure how I will reinvent this blog...maybe I'll just update a few days a week...maybe I'll write shorter posts. But I'm winding down and we'll just have to wait and see. Still, I must say that this has been a extraordinary satisfying few months. After remaining isolated with this illness for so many years, it has felt very good to be part of such a vibrant community. Thank you!

P.S. Thanks to bizwhiz from Tips for New Bloggers, who has been a terrific help in the technical aspect of all this and I'm deeply grateful for his expertise.


Polly said...

I haven't found that we disagree so much on actual issues, just that we've often had different experiences. But, of course, I guess this is me disagreeing with you right now! ;-)

Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Very funny! We do share a sense of humor.

Yes, we have had a different experience. Since I wasn't diagnosed until 25 years after my first depressive episode, I spent most of my life wondering why I had two "sad six-week episodes" each year. Finally, I figured it was just a payback for feeling so well the rest of the year.

You can't imagine how surprised I was when it was finally diagnosed as bipolar disorder. Also, all these years later, I can't believe that none of the psychologists (or the one psychiatrist I saw early on) diagnosed it. My symptoms were classic.

Oh I've recently said, maybe it was a good thing for me because of my horrific experience with medication.


JayPeeFreely said...

I had a long post that got lost. Oh well.

Thanks for the comments at mine and the tag. I'll put you in my next post.

It sucks to have to pay DA bills!!!

I found you via blogcatalog click on a viewer of mine and a friend of yours...Luck or Fate?

Have a good weekend.

marja said...

...and I am thrilled to have found you, Susan. And I hope that you'll find a way to keep blogging that will not be as all-consuming as it must have been for you lately. I AM amazed at all you have come up with in the short time you've been here.

Personally, I try to post something every two days or so unless - as happened this week - I just don't have the energy or time. Every two days or so I find there is always something that I must say. If I don't put too much pressure on myself, blogging remains a pleasure and a great outlet.

jane said...

I love "the peaceful warrior". This is my 1st time reading your blog, but reading the word "wellness" in itself made me read on.
You've mentioned so many bipolar blogs I've never heard of, but will definitely check out.
I found you thru my WordPress dashboard, it shows you linked to me. I'm glad we found each other. :)